| 21 September 2010
There are many famous people from Montreal. We approached several, most of whom told us to "peese ahf, anglish!" But we did eventually find someone to write this preview: Scott Abbott, the co-inventor of Trivial Pursuit.
Category: History
Q: Who will be the 30th, and most diminutive, captain in the history of the Montreal Canadiens?
A: Brian Gionta and/or Mike Camallieri. They make Saku Koivu look like an acromegalomaniac! Although Billy Coutu ("C", 1925-26) was no giant, he has the edge over Camallieri due to a pronounced lump on the top of his head. Gionta is actually an officially registered Little Person. He has lifts in his skates!
Category: Geography
Q: How many current Canadiens are actually native Montrealers?
A: One. (Mathieu Darche) Exactly the same as the number of native Torontonians. (PK Subban) Sacre bleu.
Category: Literature
Q: Who reads more books: Head Coach Jacques Martin, or Defenseman Hal Gill?
A: Gill. Although Martin is not the illiterate coaching Jacques, he professes to never read anything besides classic Tin-Tin books. Gill is an aficionado of comic books graphic novels, notably anything featuring Aquaman.
Category: Sports and Leisure
Q: Seriously, what's up with the Canadiens going with Carey Price over Jaroslav Halak?
A: The category is the answer. While Halak might have been better at this particular sport, Price is the superior athlete when it comes to both sports AND leisure.
Category: Arts and Entertainment
Q: How much fun, exactly, are the Canadiens to watch?
A: Lots of fun. Other than a few geezers (Gill, Jeff Halpern, Roman Hamrlik, Jaro Spacek) this is a very young team. If they're not too hung over, and avoid falling in with gangsters, they'll put on a show for the Centre Bell crowd most nights.
Category: Science
Q: Scientifically speaking, how would one describe the preponderance of guys named "Pierre" who have roles in this organization?
A: P(x)/46, where x=the number of Pierres on the Canadiens' staff and roster, and 36=the percentage of male residents of Montreal named "Pierre." (Interesting trivia: the remaining 54 percent are composed entirely of Martins (22 percent), Jacqueses (18 percent), and Jean-somethings (14 percent).)
