| 31 March 2010
Way back when, when I was writing the Western Conference Season Previews, I bookmarked an article on NHL.com about the key questions those teams would be facing, just in case I needed a crutch for one or two teams. Fortunately, my own genius and insight prevailed, and I did not read the article until yesterday.
My reaction: The boys at NHL.com should open a fortune-telling booth at the County Fair.
Anaheim: Is Jonas Hiller Really a NO. 1 Goaltender? I know it's phrased in the form of a question, but I think it's really a prediction: Jonas Hiller is, in fact, a No. 1 goaltender. And a pretty darn good one. This did not, however, compensate for the fact that the rest of the Ducks are mostly terrible.
Calgary: Will Star Power Finally Pay Off for the Flames? Read these sentences: "The Flames ran out of gas down the stretch last season partly because they had no depth. Sutter rolled the dice by adding Bouwmeester on the blue line, but if injuries hit again or the top guns misfire, Calgary could be in trouble." SNAKE EYES.
Chicago: Is This Their Year? Until the last three weeks, it looked like the answer was "Yes." Now...Christobal Huet? Really? He's going to have to pick it up to make the NHL.com boys look good.
Colorado: Will a New GM, a New Coach, and a New No. 1 Goaltender=more points. Interestingly, this headline, unlike the others, does not end in a question mark. Considering that I based my Avs preview around an obese wrestler and Chevrolet, and the Avs are going to the playoffs, NHL.com has pwned me again.
Columbus: Is Steve Mason More Than a One-Hit Wonder? NHL.com shook their magic 8-ball..."All signs point to No." It's never a good sign when people put your name in the same sentence as Jim Carey. Which I just did.
Dallas: How Many Donuts Can Marty Turco Eat at One Sitting? They were a little shakier on this one, pegging their estimate at 8. Following a home loss in December to the Oilers, Marty exceeded expectations by downing 8.5 in the car on the way home.
Detroit: Will The Olympics Take a Toll on the Red Wings? If by "toll" they meant "rejuvenate and embolden for another deep playoff run," then the NHL.com boys were on the money yet again.
Edmonton: Boy Do These Guys Suck. The actual question was about whether the Oilers' young players would step up, with a strong lean toward "not fucking likely." And unless the non-Penner portion of their offensive core grows 3 inches and adds 20 pounds, it's not likely to next year, either.
Los Angeles: How Much Does Ryan Smyth Have Left? More than, say, Keith Tkachuk does in St. Louis. Which is enough to push the Kings into the playoffs.
Minnesota: Jacques Lemaire Is Gone! Vive la difference! Instead of boring hockey and a trip to the playoffs, the Wild got an "up-tempo" trip to an early draft pick. Once again, the prognostication was spot-on.
Nashville: Who's Going to Score Goals? Barry Trotz asks this question every single night. Most of the team feels that this should be Pekka Rinne's job.
Phoenix: Are the Kids Ready for the Big Time? Astute readers will have spotted a similarity to the Oilers question. Even more astute readers will have noted that NHL.com was much more bullish on Phoenix's young players ("There's plenty of talent on the Coyotes") than Edmonton's ("most have had as many downs as ups in their careers"). Score another one for the gurus at NHL.com.
San Jose: Will Joe Thornton Return to Being a Scoring Superstar? While SuperJoe is having a fine season, with 85 points in 75 games to date, he may not reach "superstar" status. We feel somewhat responsible for undermining NHL.com on this one; if Joe didn't periodically take the time to pen an advice column here at MYFO, he might have six or seven more goals.
St. Louis: Remember Erik Johnson? Yes, I do! BAM! Nailed another one.
Vancouver: Will Roberto Luongo Justify His New Contract? I don't know about the Canucks, but Team Canada sure thinks so.
I'm sorry I didn't read this thing back in August (that's right--August. That's how fucking on the spooky it is). It would have saved me a lot of time writing previews.
