| 16 March 2010
Greetings once again, asswranglers. I'm back, by popular demand. Sorry if I'm late; I had to satisfy some other demands. Ladies first, pud-pullers. Let's start off mean substitute teacher style, with a pop quiz:
Which one of these four things is worst?
A) Knocking a frog midget unconscious with your elbow, giving him a potentially season-ending concussion.
B) Checking a lazy ginger from behind into the boards, breaking his clavicle and ending his season.
C) Making an off-color reference to another hockey player's girlfriend.
D) Having a name that rhymes with "Rollin Ramble Is a Herdfurglar."
The correct answer, of course, is "if D ==> C." Can't follow the math, cumgargler? Maybe you can attend some GED classes. Otherwise, take your pick from A and B. But, such is life in the National Horsecockgobblers League.
But, on to bigger and better things. You love the Cocknocker; you want to be the Cocknocker. Well, that's too fucking bad, rimjobber. But you can dress like the Cocknocker, with my personal line of CocknockerWear. Suck it, Ed Hardy!
And, you see that piece of tail modeling the hoodie? Know why she's frowning? Because I turned her down. You don't sleep with the help. Well, maybe you do, Johnny Nevergetsany, but I don't. Cause I got class.
Now buy a sweatshirt, dongsnorkler.
