| 10 March 2010
While America has moved past the Olympics and chosen to focus on things like Spring Training, March Madness, and (sigh) Brett Favre, Canada seems to be hooked on some story about their national team winning some international hockey competition a few weeks back. And since you can only recap a game in so many ways, it's the follow-up stories that seem to be getting their legs late in the third period. One such story involves Hockey Jesus ability to how convert the masses, but is unable to keep his crap together.
Yes, it is reported that following Canada's gold medal win, the equipment strewn about the ice was collected and returned to players. However, the game winning stick and glove of Crosby have gone missing. MYFO, while not responsible for the theft, would like to profit from it. So we've dispatched our finest CSI team to the scene. Pictures and potential perps, after the jump.
Exhibit A: The Stick Drop
After Crosby gave and went his way to some fine Olympic hardware, he made his way to the corner of the ice sans hockey stick. With an army of Canadians skating his direction, he thought it best to drop the stick on the ice rather than be nailed for a high sticking minor. No one wants to endure a celebration of patriotism in glory in the penalty box.
Exhibit B: The Glove Release
Apparently where stick goes, so must the glove. Hockey Jesus tossed it to the heavens, and if it weren't for the all-important behind-the-net netting, this could have been a souvenir for the lucky ticket holder in Row 1. Nevertheless, like the stick, it dropped to the ice and sat idly while Canada witnessed the biggest bromance in nation history.
Exhibit C: Reverse Angle
This serves to prove that gravity works and that both items did in fact land on the ice surface, as well as to acquit Niedermayer and Doughty of all charges. Defensemen are never looking for a score.
Exhibit D: Wide Shot
No real proof of theft here. But it does point out that Martin Brodeur took somewhere between 12 and 15 minutes to make it to the celebration. Welcome to the party, pal.
So. Huh.
The evidence appears to be inconclusive. There will be no indictment today. But we'd like to present three potential candidates for your consideration. Please vote in the poll on the front page.
Suspect 1: Swiper the Fox
Suspect 2: This crazy bitch
Suspect 3: Pierre McGuire
