| 17 March 2010
Hi everybody, Patrick O'Sullivan of the Edmonton Oilers here. As a penance for my -32 rating, Commissioner Bettman has asked a favor of me in exchange for convincing Kevin Lowe not to demote me to the AHL. I'm supposed to visit the blogs whilst wearing all green, drop a hearty "Top O' the Morning!" on you and pimp some of the fine holiday-themed producted for sale over at NHL Shop.
However, what Mr. Bettman doesn't realize is that I'm not from Ireland. I've never been to Ireland. And I fucking hated The Commitments. So rather than a cheery sales pitch that encourages you to bring your credit card to the end of the rainbow, I'm going to sit here in my recliner, pop some Lucky Charms and whiskey, and do some open mocking of this fine Irish merchandise.
Well look at that. Ovechkin's green t-shirt jersey is the top seller in the whole store. You know, I'd like to think that sometimes he scored goals entirely based on luck, but the dude's got skills. First reader to buy one and ship it to Brian Campbell's hospital room will get to have a pint with me!
It appears that the NHL has all 23 of their Irish items on sale for only four teams: Detroit, Chicago, Boston, and Philly. Pittsburgh is just behind them with 22 possible items. The one they left out? The women's boxer shorts above. Wise move, NHL. Wise. Move.
Dallas wears green year-round. They only have three items. I'm pretty sure they could have snuck in some crap you don't buy year-round to up their numbers.
Hey Frenchies, Ed Hardy isn't an Irishman. Cut it out. Oui?
Oh that's fair. I can't buy an O'Sullivan green jersey, but you make one for Marian Gaborik? That's real fucking fair. I met him once. He thought Colin Farrell was a Scot! Bah!
