Hockey season is finally upon us. But damn it, weekends exist all year round. And just because the NHL has decided to schedule games on said weekend doesn’t mean our schedules are magically freed up for 24/7 snark. We’ve got basements to clean, and our respective mothers learned everything they know from Mike Keenan. So on Monday mornings, you will get a recap post and a picture of noted thespian Terry Kiser. Enjoy.

February is upon us, which also means it's time to be welcomed by articles about how February is a terrible month for sports.  It's an easy write; after the Super Bowl, football goes away, baseball is a month away, and we're still in the pre-playoff race malaise in the NHL and NBA.  But I spent the last weekend in January watching Mono Skier X, where paralympians race derby-style down a hill on one ski.  And it's not that I don't have tremendous respect for what these guys are able to do.  It's just not that exciting a competition.  The winner every heat was the guy who didn't fall down.  I'm not kidding you.  There was one heat where the top two advanced to the final and since only one guy finished, they had to award the guy who made it the next farthest down the hill a berth.  February, I welcome you with open arms.

Anyway, let's forget that ever happened and recap some hockey.

James Wisniewski: Jack of Some Trades - I can't decide what's more alarming about the aforementioned Ducks defenseman: that Head Coach Randy Carlyle gives him a shootout slot over the likes of Bobby Ryan and Saku Koivu, or that he creepily knows everything about all of his teammates.  In a postgame interview, in which the press were asking young James about his goal and shootout winner in a 2-1 decision over Tampa Bay, Teemu Selanne was overheard saying, "Miracles happen."  Wisniewski's retort?

"Thanks Teemu. I would say something else, but you have 595 goals."

Which is not roughly, but rather, EXACTLY the number of career goals Selanne has amassed.  Now I could understand Wisniewski saying "600" or even "hundreds", but to nail it on the head?  If I'm Selanne, it's time to move my family and change the locks.

I've Seen This One Before - In what is looking increasingly unlikely to three-peat, the Detroit-Pittsburgh showdown for 2010 may be limited to the Sunday afternoon tilt that happened yesterday.  The Pens won 2-1 in the shootout when Evgeni Malkin slowed the wheels of time to walk around Jimmy Howard and slide the puck across the line.  Immediately following the game, Marian Hossa got up from his couch to make a sandwich.

Oh, Right.  Canada - It appears that all of Canuckistan played each other on Saturday.  Ottawa beat Montreal 3-2 in overtime, Vancouver outlasted Toronto 5-3, and the Flames wrecked the Oilers 6-1.  But that last decision becomes less impressive when you consider that the Barenaked Ladies would probably light up Kevin Lowe's squad right about now.

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