| 26 February 2010
I know, it's not Wednesday. This post is on tape delay.
OVIE: OLIMPYX no fun for OVIE. No shiny medalz. When can OVIE goes home to domminate NHL again?
A knock at Ovie's Olympic Village door.
OVIE: OH HAI, LINZEES! Why you come to see luzr?
Vonn: Oh, Alex! How long are you going to sit here and sulk?
OVIE: Is true--I do sux.
Jacobellis: No, you don't. Just because you didn't win a medal, doesn't mean you suck. Look at me--I didn't win jack. Do I suck?
OVIE: This is Trix question, seely rabbit.
Vonn: We heard you were feeling this way. You've got to snap out of it. You've still got a lot going for you. You're going places!
OVIE: Not enny more. Forgot to charge the Segway.
Jacobellis: Look, I was down for a while, too, after I didn't win. But Lindsey helped me feel better.
OVIE: OVIE not feeling better until Sochi. Mister Gary cannot stop me.
Vonn: You can't just hide until 2014. You need something to perk you up, right now. How about a peek inside my jumpsuit? Unzips.
OVIE: OVIE still sad like crying clown, Smokee Robertson. Even his meeracles not help.
Jacobellis: How about if I gave you a peek, too? Unzips.
OVIE: No, that's not...FORE BEWBEES! WOWIE!
Vonn: Feeling better?
OVIE: Y...Nnnnoo. OVIE still crying purple rain on the inside.
Jacobellis: Alex, do you remember the question I asked a few minutes ago? Well, the answer is yes.
OVIE: OVIE is having trouble with orange juice concentration, like when Coach Bykov talk about defense...
Vonn: She asked whether you thought she sucked. And yes, she does. Get out of those sweatpants.
OVIE: OVVIIIEEE TIIIIMMME!!
Vonn: That's a nice one. Don't hog it all, Linds.
Jacobellis: Just as long as I get another turn.
OVIE: OVIE's mojo is rising like Greenie's hair!
Jacobellis: OK, that's enough. My turn!
Vonn: You can have it back when you win a medal.
Jacobellis: Bitch! Give me that!
OVIE: Girlz, girlz, don't fight over OVIE's dingle! You might scratch it, and then OVIE will have to take time out from porntoobz.
Vonn: We'll take turns. Alternating licks. How long will he last?
OVIE: OVIE is like Tootsee Popz! Just don't chew the middlz.
Jacobellis: Wow, I think it's going to be quicker than we thought.
OVIE: HERE CUMZ THE CAVIAR!
Vonn: You pig! You took it all. Let me have some.Opens mouth.
Jacobellis: Here it comes! Spits wad of Oviecum into back of Vonn's throat.
OVIE: WEEEE.....ARE THE CHAMPEEEEEUNS, MY FRE-ENZ!
