| 08 February 2010
You see, Habs fans, the reason Bob Gainey failed to bring you a Stanley Cup as General Manager had nothing to with a lack of dedication, devotion, or the inability to properly stock the farm system with fruitful draft classes. Nay, the architect of Kostitsyns and Friends is stepping down because he lacks something that he cannot simply acquire.
His head isn't fucking big enough.
Pictured right, Gainey's replacement - right-hand man Pierre Gauthier - brings 30 years of experience, a draft record with Quebec that netted Sakic and Sundin, and oh - a cranium large enough to obstruct the view of the ice for Sections 103 and 104.
Reports out of Montreal suggest that both Barry Bonds and the kid from So I Married an Axe Murderer were also considered for the position.
