Ovie: Honey, I tolds you!! I text, “I hits these posts in honor of Brendan Haywood free throws”, and I ring-ding-donged them like Dr. Dre!!

Katja: Oh Sasha, you were glorious out there, fighting those vicious fishermen with caviar girlfriends. I’ve never been prouder of you.

Ovie: Next timez I knock three players helmets off to give mad propz to Agent Zero’s Halo team!

Katja: Sasha, what do you want to do now?

Ovie: Well, why don’ts we go backs to my place for role-play?

Katja: Oh, Alex, you little red devil!

*Back at the Ovie Pad*

Ovie: MY LEVEL 60 ROGUE PWNZ YOU, ROOKERY!!! ALEX OHHHHHHHHHHVECHKIN!!!

Katja: Um, this isn’t exactly …

Ovie: Hold on, Katja. Watch me destroy this kidney shot this chump! HE SQUIRTING BLOOD LIKE ZED!

*Katja has removed Ovie’s headphones*

Katja: Alex, I want you inside me.

Ovie: You has Segway shop and Hair Cuttery? What they charge? Can I bringz Greeny too?

Katja: No, Alex, I just think we are ready to take our relationship one step further.

Ovie: I understands. I iz getting closer to the edge AND I’M ABOUT TO BREAK!!!! NEVER TURN OFF A RUSSIAN MAN’S PC!!!

OVIE TIME!!!!

*Ovie flings headphones at ground, causing Katja’s clothes fly off, leaving only her skivvies*

AHHHHH!!!!! GIRLY PARTS! I, I has to go …

Katja: Sasha, what’s wrong?

Ovie: You has Ural Mountains on your chest. I was left for dead there when I was 13!!!! I no want to be outlaw for your love, I just wants to take yous to dance!

*Ovie has locked himself in his room*

Katja: Well, will you call me? I’m leaving for Moscow soon. School’s starting again.

Ovie: Yes, yes, I calls sometime. But right now my pantz is highsticking.

Assist to the NHL Fanhouse for the picture